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There's a guy at work who really gets on my nerves. Last week he went on Family Fortunes. That’s the kind of beast we’re dealing with.

Anyway, a while back he told me that 0.4% of people called Clark Kent turned out to be Superman, so statistically if he produced enough sons and called them Clark Kent one of them would eventually turn out to have superpowers and be Superman. I told him that he was an idiot.

Sadly for me he had sex with hundreds of women over the next few years and ensured that those who gave birth to boys called them Clark Kent. Eventually the law of averages stuck her ugly head in and one of his sons could leap tall buildings in a single bound, run faster than a speeding bullet and was more powerful than a locomotive.

Eager to teach him a lesson, I left my wife and travelled the world to seduce women on five continents. I fathered many a son, all with the name Lex Luthor. Eventually a fourteen year old prostitute in Fuji gave birth to an evil genius and my job was done.

Ian, London.

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