Some time ago I decided that there was nothing I wanted more than to own a successful restaurant. I wanted to put the fun back into eating out. I didn't want a pretentious overpriced food prison. I wanted it to be about family and having a good time, so I decided to make it a do it yourself restaurant. There'd be no staff, so the costs were very low. The customers would just come in, cook their food, serve themselves and eat it. It couldn't fail. Somehow, however, it failed. Maybe I shouldn't have given customers access to the till. Maybe I shouldn't have named it "Do It Yourself, You Fucking Cunt". Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.