Every night for the past four years I've done something a bit strange. I go to bed at 11pm like clockwork, which isn't the strange part, because quite a lot of people are doing it these days.

Once I'm in my bed I lay on my back and do something in my mind for exactly one hour. I rehearse for Jonathan Ross. You know, the long haired chat show man? I'm not a celebrity, I'm not plugging anything and there's no real reason why I'd ever be called upon for an interview, but it's always wise to be prepared.

Over the years I've thought up every possible question he could ask me or any situation he could put me in. Believe me, it's no easy feat. It isn't like rehearsing for poor old predictale Parkie. He could be asking me about work one minute and asking me to rub fish oil into his penis the next. That's why I need to be prepared, you just don't know what you're going to get with Ross.

Andrew, Hereford.

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