Too many people stop me and tell me that I've got white on my clothes. "It's washing powder!" I cry at them. Those who have been lucky enough to live with me know that I use four times the recommended dosage of washing powder. It maximises the cleaning and leaves a nice white coat for all to see. Most people don't understand why I want everyone to see that my clothes are clean. Their worldview is quite warped. People spend hundreds of pounds to get a tiger or a man on a horse waving a bowling pin on their clothes, just so that easily impressed street travellers know that it's a brand name which cost hundreds of pounds. Wouldn't you rather people thought that your clothes were clean rather than expensive?