He had the eyes of a shark, but a sarcastic one. He had a voice for silent movies, but people liked listening to him.
His opinions and views were all wrong, of course, but he had enough charm and confidence to make you think otherwise at the time. It wouldn't be until an hour later when the conversation had finished and you were sitting at home that you'd realised he didn't actually have anything worth saying.
He got married when he was 18 to a girl named Melissa. He'd always introduce her as his lesser half. She'd always smile, but you could tell she didn't like it. He cheated on her weekly, but said he was always thinking of his wife when he did it and you'd genuinely believe him. He'd say "Melissa is the ultimate woman. She's everything a woman should be. Every other woman is a flawed copy of her, she's the original Mcdonalds at the head of the woman franchise. I simply dine at other outlets from time to time to help me appreciate the historical and social importance of the original."
He said he'd never read a book, but his house was full of them. He'd make really obvious statements like "Nothing warms you up like a fire" and deliver them as if they were Ancient Chinese proverbs.
He wore shirts, but never ties. He'd never left Britain, but he spoke five languages badly. He broke his Spurs supporting father's heart by supporting Arsenal, but always wished for a draw when the two teams met. He was my friend and I miss him.
Michael, Bethnal Green.
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