I've been sacked from my job again. I was a jockey. Not the best jockey, but a small man nonetheless. There aren't a lot of jobs for small people, apart from porn and horse racing, and I haven't got a face for porn. I was fired and banned from coming within a hundred feet of a horse, so even if I did want to do porn, I wouldn't be allowed to do the stuff where the real money is. All because I injected my horse with drugs. Not performance enhancers, mind you, just heroin. It didn't help him win, but it sure helped with the pain of defeat, which is why I feel I was wrongly disgraced. I'm a hero.