Over one thousand people said we’d take four steps back when we reverted to using horses instead of cars. Most celebrities and politicians said it was a greener sideways step towards to a brighter future. At least we were free from oil’s slick black hands.

All until Jay-Z made Puff Daddy’s horse drink a barrell of oil at Kanye West’s birthday party. Jay-Z had only bought Kanye £50 worth of Dixons vouchers and feared a horse would upstage his gift. The oil was designed to kill the horse, because a dead horse is a terrible birthday present. Sadly the horse found the oil most refreshing.

Pretty soon all the kids were doing it. Horses didn’t want to drink anything else. Within five years there wasn’t a horse on the planet that didn’t run on oil.

Sol, LA.

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