There was once a man with a penis so incredible that it gave him immense courage, the kind of courage that allows a man to seduce a woman, the kind of courage that makes a man photocopy his penis for everyone in the office to see. Not just out of pride, but also out of duty.
Sadly this man lived through the early days of photocopying, when the machines were heavy, poorly designed and full of sharp angles. Upon trying to remove his penis after making a copy he found himself without a penis. It got stuck. As it lay there on the glass, all bloody and unattached, this man muttered to Dave from accounts that "this had all been a terrible mistake." Even without his magnficent penis he still had the courage to admit he'd made a mistake.
All he had left was an A4 copy of his once glorious penis and his tremendous courage. Nobody could strip him of that courage. He could have lost a thousand penises and still had the power to make women agree to enter his place of residence late at night, without knowing his name, his background or his potential motives.
Back in his room he'd get them naked and horizontal, pinned to the bed with nothing but anticipation, then open his briefcase and hand them the photocopy of his penis. They would gasp. Then he would describe in great detail what this penis could once do. The images he created through words and presenting a black and white image would send the ladies wild, but it wasn't enough to satisfy them. Women need more than words and stationary. Inevitably they'd demand for this penis, even though all he had was a 2D representation on the lowest quality paper.
Still, he did his best. He made love with his penis of paper, shredding the lady inside and out, but they never complained, even though they'd instantly regret suggesting it. You can't complain about a few genital papercuts to a man who lost his penis in a photocopier. It's just rude.