So an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scot are sailing on a boat. One thing leads to another and eventually the boat crashes into a rock. The boat is destroyed.
Luckily the three men are strong swimmers and even luckier are just a mile away from a desert island, the kind that you see in dreams and fictional depictions of desert islands.
Once they reach the shore the Irishman goes off to scout the island for food and water. An hour later he returns with an armful of coconuts. "There's enough coconuts on this island to last forever" he says "We could survive here indefinitely, but the thought of spending eternity here and never seeing my sweet wife's beautiful face again is too much for me." And he smashes a coconut on his head - killing him instantly.
"I'll be damned if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with an Englishman" says the Scot. He then picks up a coconut and smashes himself on the head with it - killing himself instantly.
"And I hate coconuts!" yells the Englishman, who takes the coconut from the dead Scot's hand and smashes himself on the head with it - but it doesn't kill him. He drops to the sandy floor, unable to move any part of his body, unable to cry out in despair, not even move his eyes.
Meanwhile, out at sea is a Welshman who had been following the three men, angry at never being invited into their jokes and adventures. Unfortunately his boat meets the same fate upon the very same rock.
He washes up on the same shore as the three Brits and sees the three bodies lying there motionless. He checks them all for a pulse, finding the Englishman still alive. Using all of his cunning the Welshman quickly assembles a makeshift intravenous drip out of a vine and a coconut and so the Englishman lives on for thirty years, slowly being filled with coconut, trapped, screaming with his thoughts "Please let me die."
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