The child born with the best ever haircut was placed straight into quarantine for fear that someone might mess it up.
"Please. Let me see my baby." shrieked the mother. The doctors and midwives ignored her cries. They sedated her heavily and placed a stuffed bear at her chest. She fell asleep clutching it tightly.
A specialist was flown in from Toni and Guy. "The fringe might not make it through the night." he informed the doctors. "All we can do is wait."
Morning came and the hair remained intact.
"Can I see my baby now?" the mother asked.
"I'm afraid your baby is dead." replied the head of the maternity ward, trying not to smile.
"Damn." said the mother in a very sad voice. "Can I see the body?"
"I'm afraid the body was stolen."
"By who?!?" said the mother in a very shocked voice.
"A baby thief, no doubt." explained the doctor.
"If it makes you feel any better, they probably wanted a live baby." added the hairdresser from Toni and Guy, who had taken some improv classes in college.
And so, the mother left the hospital with a voucher for one small baby, which could only be redeemed in the event of a spare baby becoming available.
Meanwhile, the child born with the best ever haircut remained in a glass room deep within the basement of the hospital. Many discussions were held about what should be done. Should the hair be removed and given to a bald rich man? Should they try adding product to the hair?
"A mousse perhaps?" wondered one of the interns. The janitor believed that the hairstyle should be combed out and the baby burned. "No individual was ever meant to be granted such power." he declared. He was dismissed from his job soon after. This had not been the first time he'd expressed his desire to set fire to an infant.
Eventually, everyone came to agree that the baby would remain at the hospital indefinitely, so that the hair could be studied further.
Five years later and the child was still being kept in the glass room beneath the hospital. He had yet to be given a name. His days were spent being watched by apprentice hairdressers from across the globe. They would come to witness the best possible hair, to learn from it and to believe that such hair was possible.
THE TWIST IS THAT MANY YEARS LATER IT TURNED OUT THAT HE WAS WEARING A WIG.