Arnold was walking home from the gym when he was suddenly confronted by a question from a hatted figure standing outside a newsagents.
"Scuse me, mate. If I give you the money will you go in there and buy me some porn?"
Arnold was confused. The person who had asked the question seemed to be older than Arnold, a lot older in fact. His hair was grey, his beard was long. The man could easily have been in his sixties.
"But you're old. Why can't you do it?" Arnold asked.
"It's embarassing. I don't want someone to see me buying porn."
Arnold couldn't argue with that, buying porn was embarassing, but perhaps it was courageous too. In this day and age, going into a shop and buying physical pornography without the mask of the Internet was like wearing a t-shirt saying "Look at me. I know who I am and I'm at ease with that. Judge me if you dare."
Arnold and the man entered the newsagents, a place where children can buy sweets and men can buy hardcore pornography. The man picked up a magazine and handed it to Arnold, along with a fiver. Arnold approached the counter, chest out, chin high. He presented the porn to the cashier, careful to make intense eye contact, his stare crying out: "Yes. It's porn. What are you going to do about it?"
In answer to the unspoken question the cashier pressed a button beneath the counter, an alarm sounded and the shutters began to fall outside. The old man in slid beneath the shutters like a modern day Indiana Jones. His hat fell off like an olden day Indiana Jones, but he made no attempt to retrieve it, such was his desire to escape. He was gone.
Within a minute the police had arrived. Within a month Arnold was in prison serving a six year sentence. As part of a new paedophile fighting intiative newsagents across the land had been littered with child pornography, underage bait to catch Britain's proudest paedophiles. The idea had been stolen from the hit American bottom of the barrel TV show "To Catch A Predator".
Arnold sat in his cell, covered in bruises from the many shower room beatings he'd recieved. Staring out the window at a blood red sunset, he began to think about the old man who had asked him to buy the porn. The joke was on him - Arnold still had his fiver.