In a bid to dilute life's cruel taste I submerged myself in water for forty years. When I awoke from my watery dream I was too wrinkled to be called a man and too man to be called a wrinkle. I knew that I could no longer call dry land my home and I had failed to find comfort in the depths of the darkest oceans. My only option was to freeze myself within a block of man-sized ice in the desperate hope that future generations may find a cure for loneliness.

Hal, Ice.


Hello competitioners, batteriesfeelincluded fans and black-hearted plagiarists. It's been a thrilling week or so, and all of us here are overjoyed with the success of what is hopefully the first of many batteriesfeelincluded drawing competitions. The entries were frequently of an above average quality, and you should all be proud of yourselves.

Special mentions go to Dan Beames for capturing the semi-lifeless feel of a body frozen in ice, and to Cadburywolf, Briedle and Ninebucks for their impressive illustratorial nous.

However, there can only be one winner, and after much discussion, a nearly unanimous decision (if you count me as eight or more people) was reached. The winner is... Ballookey. The piece was graphically inventive, and managed to not only capture the tone and content of the story, but also add to it in an unexpected way. So congratulations, Ballookey. Your prize will never be announced or exist.

Jonathan James-Whitehead BA. Also got an A in GCSE Art.

The Winner:


Other Entries:

Dan Beames

Will (Theprowler)



Cooper King



Richard Kirby




  1. "I was too wrinkled to be called a man, and too man to be called a wrinkle" is a surprisingly useful phrase that I now use daily. Thanks.

  2. John, what you have quoted is not a phrase. There are not many phrases of any particular worth in that excerpt. What you have there is two clauses linked together (perhaps innapropriately with a comma and a conjunction) creating a compound sentence. It could have become a complex sentence if removing the comma and the 'and' and replacing with a semi-colon ';'.