Films not coming out in 2010:

Beatle Jews - An imaginary tale. What if the Beatles' plane had crash landed in Israel on their way to India? See John and Paul as you've never seen them before, as accountants, movie producers and other Jewish stereotypes.

The Bourne Collector - Thriller. Denzel Washington plays a quadriplegic forensic expert with nothing to do all day except watch films. A fan of the Bourne Trilogy, he has them all on dvd, even the four disc special edition of The Bourne Ultimatum which was only available in Japan. Now, with no more films on the way, there's only one more thing to add to his collection - Matt Damon. The hunt is on.

Total Freecall - Arnie is back and this time it's personal. A personal call that is! The Governor of California has free phonecalls after 6pm to any landline for up to an hour, but when the film is two hours long will he remember to hangup and redial halfway through?

Mint's Condition
- Jessica Alba is a single mother with a broken heart. With no money to pay for an operation she looks destined to leave her daughter an orphan. All until billionaire Harvey Mint (Jude Law) offers to pay for her surgery, but he has one condition - Alba must marry him for one year. Can conditional love ever become unconditional?

Right to Remain Soylent?
- Charlton Heston is Non-Brand Hotdogs number one employee. On a typical Tuesday disaster strikes at the factory when his finger is chopped off and falls into a tin of hotdogs, which is quickly lost. Does he tell his foreman and stop production immediately costing the business millions of dollars or should he stay quiet and carry on as normal?

S-Word in the Stone - After Basic Instinct 2 flops at the box office, Sharon Stone becomes deeply saddened, causing a terrifying case of constipation.

Lost in Trainstation - Big Budget Sequel. On his way to the airport, Bill Murray must tackle Tokyo's busiest train station. Will he find his platform when all the signs are in Japanese?

The Bustop - While waiting for a bus a small breasted woman is shot down by an accidental gang shooting. With just minutes to live all she can think about is how she never got the chest she always wanted. Luckily for her, also waiting for the same bus is L.A.'s number one plastic surgeon (Jude Law). When the bus is only 30 seconds away and he's already late for work, will he have time to carry out the procedure? Bigger won't make her better.

The Car Ate A Kid
- Comedy Farce. Ralph Macchio is the world's best driving instructor, but when his car is stolen by ninjas he needs a new one fast. Minutes later he finds one in an abandoned fairground. After showing the new car to his six year old son the unthinkable happens. Will he find a new son at the abandoned fairground before his wife gets home?

Deceit - Nicholas Cage plays a tough New York City cop with a dark secret - He's actually a fireman.

Return to Cinder - After the party of the year Prince Charming has to clean up the mess before the King and Queen get back from Canada. With no time to find Cinderella to deliver her glass slipper he uses DHL courier service. Will Cindy fall in love with the delivery man and live contently ever after?

Glad He Ate Her - Russell Crowe awakens on a desert island all alone except for a woman he's never liked. When starvation sets in he has no choice but to devour her without regret.

Cash of the Tight'Uns - Two moderately wealthy men compare bank statements in their garden, but when a charity fundraiser lady comes calling they refuse to give a donation.

Bigg - Tom Hanks wakes up to find his wildest dream come true. He's young, he's black and his debut album has just gone platinum.

Crime Scene - When socialite Paris Hilton trades the velvet rope for police tape it's only a matter of time before everybody is hanging out at murder central. How can the same woman always be at the wrong place at the right time?

Trash Talk - Detroit's worst garbage man (Eddie Murphy) is only one day away from getting the sack when he develops the power to communicate with anything that has been thrown away. A genuine stinker.

Speed 3 - Retired cop, Keanu Reeves, struggles to adapt to a world that's moving too fast. With wireless internet and bluetooth headsets on every corner, how will our hero react when someone has just told him that you can pause live tv?


  1. Mint's Condition - I wish that film was coming out in 2010... I would totally watch it. But claim I hadn't and scoff at the posters.

  2. "Deceit - Nicholas Cage plays a tough New York City cop with a dark secret - He's actually a fireman."

    Man, I'm crying over here. This movie rules.