It's a common misconception that the Sun is very hot. It's actually very cold. We get almost all of our warmth from the body heat of swans. Swans have played a bigger part in history than most people would dare to imagine.

Some say that the Queen owns all the swans in Britain, when, in fact, the swans own the Queen. The royal family are mere puppets.

There are a lot of myths surrounding swans; the swan song, for example. Nature experts say it doesn't exist. What they don't understand is that swans control nearly all of the music industry (Hollywood too). Turn on your radio and you'll almost certainly hear a song which was either produced, written or inspired by a swan, and so, in that sense, every song is a swan song.

There have been times when the cold blooded, bastard reptiles have overthrown our swan overlords, the times which historians have labelled "ice ages". Without the body heat of swans the Earth becomes a fiery ice ball of ice, but our long necked saviours always rise again.

Clive, UK.

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