I always wonder about the future. Will it blow my mind? The answer is no. The problem with the future is that it comes gradually, too gradually, at the speed of one second per second. When Toyota unveil the flying death car it will seem like the most perfectly natural thing in the world. If you had shown me my mobile phone ten years ago it would have surely blown my mind, but as I progressed from normal phone, to mobile phone, to colour screened mobile phone, to the polyphonic camera phone I took it all in my stride.

The future will never impress me. The human brain is not designed to be blown, but it can happen. Luckily the human brain has defenses for this. If I was to fall into a coma and awake thirty years later I would be in the future, and because I hadn't experienced the change gradually, my mind would blow.

This is why when when we go into comas, the longer we stay unconcious the less chance we have of ever waking up. Our brain keeps us in the coma to stop us awaking in a strange and confusing future where nothing makes sense and the values of our day are no longer valued. We can stay in a coma and wake up a few weeks later, our brain can cope with that. We will feel a little strange, but our minds will not blow at the scientific advances of a fortnight.

This is why cryogenic freezing will never work. Unless, I, Professor James T. Proudfoot, succeed in my quest to develop a helmet capable of saving the human brain from blowing itself up when faced with a non-gradual future. Sadly, I fear that my helmet will contain technology so advanced that it would blow the minds of the minds I am trying to unblow.

James, Wolverhampton.


  1. dana daugherty2 June 2009 at 01:51

    this is genius.

  2. Isn't James Proudfoot a Harry Potter character, ish?

  3. lol no...that's james potter. proudfoot is a name from Lord of the Rings