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I was delighted in my lecture this morning when a girl sat next to me, not because I'm a pervert, but because it appeared that she had an equal or even greater uninterest in Egyptology than me.

After exchanging a few words it became clear that she too hadn't done the homework, in fact, she didn't even know what the homework was, one step greater than I. Our lecturer asked us to go over our homework for a few minutes, giving us a chance to do something, but I obviously hadn't bought the textbook that was needed and neither had she. A tie. Luckily the girl on my other side said I could use her's. After making a few notes, the girl who knew nothing asked me what I had written, so low was her knowledge of things Egyptian.

So there I was, giving out information about something I have no idea about like some sort of wise man. I was enchanted by her lack of research. We had both arrived late, so we had to sit on the chairs at the back without a desk. I simply rested my notepad on my lap in a casual manner, but this girl defeated me once more. She had just one piece of paper and nothing to press on. Can you imagine the genius of such a thing? One piece of paper and nothing to press on! So she folded the piece of paper two or three times and pressed it against her left hand. Her hand! She used her hand as a thing for pressing on! What could have possibly topped this? Her pen. Her pen was filled with red ink. Red ink! Who in their right mind uses red to write with? The odd word here and there, yes, but to write entire sentences is madness.

All the signs in my head suggested that I was in love with this girl. We would graduate together, get married and live out our lives as Egyptologists who know nothing about Egyptology. We would have a dozen kids and send them across the world to universities where they would get degrees in all sorts of unuseful things.

Then it happened. My dream was smashed. My lecturer asked a question, a question open to anyone in the class and the girl cried out with an answer. Such enthusiasm did not fit in with my plan of a life of no knowledge. She was a fraud, she probably had shelves filled with books about Egypt. A shame.

Anthony, Swansea.