There comes a time in the lives of a few good men when they will become the worst at sex in the entire world. Many historical figures have worn the worst sex crown and lost it soon after. It is not a crown that stays on a man's head for very long.

Human beings inheritantly like things that are bad. They will gladly sit through hours of a show called "100 worst songs EVER!", when they could easily be off listening to songs which aren't the worst.

Women flock from across the globe to seduce the man known for being the worst at sex. They want to know what the worst sex feels like. It is this flaw in human nature that allows the crown wearer to have lots and lots of sex in a short period of time, giving him enough practice to become just one of the worst sexers in the world, but not the worst.

The title ordinarily gets passed on every few weeks, but once in the history of time came a man whose natural inability to do sex well, be it through his lack of rhythm or poor imagination, meant that no matter how many times he made love to those who sought the worst intercourse, he could never improve and held onto the crown for over fourteen years.

How do I know this? I was that man.

Charlie, Sydney.

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