Back in the grey days of 2005 people were saying that King Kong was the greatest CGI they'd ever seen, but the best CGI I'd ever seen was my mother. She died just before my GCSEs, and my dad was a very old fashioned man. He believed that a child should never find out that their mother has died just before important weddings, birthdays or exams.
And so, he spent a lot of money, an awful lot, on maintaining the illusion that mother was alive and well, just so it wouldn't affect my academic performance.
Sometimes I think he did the right thing, because I got 8 As and 2 Bs, but when I went to hug my mother on results day and my arms went right through her, my world kind of collapsed in on itself and starting cutting myself a bit for the next few years.
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