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I've made some terrible choices in my life, but it's not my fault. I never had the right guidance. What I needed was a mentor, like you see people with in films and tv shows. So I took out an ad in the local paper. Now let me tell you this: taking out an advert for a mentor in the local newspaper is a one way ticket to a bumming. If only I'd had a mentor to warn me.

Nick, Newcastle.

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