I've never believed in an afterlife, so I've spent my life raping, murdering and stealing. All the fun stuff.
I was knocking off a hotel room a couple of weeks back and I found a book on the bedside table. It was called the bible. I had a quick look inside and it turns out there is an afterlife and I'm going to be judged for all my wrong doings. I'm bloody gutted.
Benjamin, Liverpool.