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A lot of people say that your school years are the best years of your life, but then a lot of people combat that by saying "Don't be ridiculous, the years after that are the best years of your life." I'm no expert, but they're probably both wrong, because it'll depend on personal experiences.

I am a person, and I can tell you that my college years were the best of my life. My twenties were ok and my thirties were nothing to complain about, but they just didn't live up to my late teens.

So, like most men in need of a solution, I came up with a plan. I would go back in time and live in my past. I know the Butterfly Effect is just a film, but the science behind it was solid. "Imagine how much better my best years could be if I'd known everything I know now" I told my neighbour.

So I built a helmet which would send me back, but I must have forgotten to carry a zero or something, because it all went tits up. I went back in time, but like an idiot I somehow managed to erase my entire past.

To make matters worse I am permanently stuck eight minutes behind the rest of the world. I am quite literally behind the times. Crossing the road is a nightmare, because when street looks empty there might be a car driving past in eight minutes time which will smack me in the head until dead. I hear people crying in the street about how it takes eight minutes for the light of the sun to reach us on Earth, but it takes me sixteen! I'm missing out on everything.

Johnny, California.

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