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My mother warned me never to marry a statistician. “They don’t love like us” she said, but I was young.

It was clear that things weren’t working from the start. After things began to get worse I was convinced I didn’t love him. He was cold, distant and square like a machine. We got into an argument and I told him I was leaving.

“But you love me” he said.
I explained using various reasons from my heart that I didn’t.

“I’m afraid that’s not the case.” he said.

“I’m not one of your figures or charts” I screamed. “I’m a human being. I know what I feel.”

Then he showed me a graph which proved that I really did love him, and so, I stayed. You can’t argue with a graph. We’ve been unhappily married ever since.

Denise, Cambridge.