I’ve always had a strange relationship with jokes. There was a time when I didn’t understand them at all. The first joke I ever heard was the one about the chicken crossing road. Over twenty years have passed since then and I still don’t get it. I remember when I was eight years old my grandfather asked me ‘When is a door not a door?’ I didn’t know. ‘When it’s ajar.’ he said. I laughed, but I would be close to sixteen before I worked it out.
Now, as a grown man, I understand jokes too well, so much so that I cannot be amused by a single one. I was on the bus this morning when I overheard a man telling a woman a joke. I’m sure you’ve all heard it before, it’s the one where Superman is flying over Metropolis one day when he sees Wonder Woman lying naked on a rooftop with her legs spread open. To cut a long story short, Superman attempts to have sex with her quickly without her noticing only to end up having anal sex with the Invisible Man.
Out of pity for the man telling the joke I had to interrupt. For over ten minutes I had to explain why Superman should have been able to see the Invisible Man, because his range of vision is far superior to our own, although it’s often debated whether it extends to thermal vision. Still, even if he couldn’t see the Invisible Man he would have definitely heard two heartbeats, making it clear that Wonder Woman wasn’t alone. Also, Superman is no fool, when confronted by another superhero who is naked and screaming in sexual bliss on a rooftop, questions would surely be raised in his head. However, the most incredible flaw of this whole setup makes the scientific faults irrelevant. Superman, by his very nature, doesn’t fly around raping people. It just doesn’t add up.