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I began my journey in my street. Behold, the terrifying ghost bike that has been terrifying my neighbourhood.

Would you dare take your sick pet to a vets that can't even be bothered to clean the giant pawprint off their sign?

Have they simply forgotten to put the ears on the dog or are they worried about old men shitting everywhere? It happens, by God it happens.

Finally, they've done it. Nature has successfully been merged with Machine. We all thought it would never happen after they failed to create a parking meter that laid eggs, but here we see a lamp post which grows flowers.

I thought I'd be able to come up with something to say about phoneboxes, because they're such an easy target, but I failed. Although I suppose phoneboxes are a great metaphor for failure. Whenever I see someone using a phonebox these days I can't help but feel that their lives haven't turned out the way they'd always dreamed.

My local Religion Hall. It's hard to get into Jesus since the churches sold out. Too many popup banners.

Warning: Young boys who morph into women.

Jesus. Can it be?

Have I really developed x-ray vision?

Danger: Phantom Bikes With No Riders Up Ahead.

At night I have to walk across this bridge on the way home from work in complete darkness. I'd be scared about getting murdered if I wasn't so worried about the ghost bike.

Why anyone would want to buy wares that have been burnt is beyond me.

Defy time? What secret sciences are they working in there?

This is where I work.

A misleading sign that does not accurately depict our clientele.

Like a man of the people, or a man made of people, I am drinking Carling.

Business cards! Most of my friends have gone off and become grownups. Now whenever I see them they give me their business cards. I always look a fool for not having one to give back, so I end up giving them my credit card. It's not much concern, because I can just phone up and cancel it later.

Damn, the Smirn is off. I was looking forward to a nice beaker of Smirn.

Bottled beers! Whatever next? It'll never catch on.

England under 21s did a goal. Goal! It's always best to finish a photo-journal with a goal, because it sends the fans home happy.

But wait! There's more!

The next day I was just casually walking along the beach minding my own business with James, Rachel and Catrin...

When, all of a sudden, this monster almost attacked and killed us. Luckily it was already dead. I'm not one for exaggerating, but it was huge. This photo doesn't do it justice, because it's not clear that James is 200ft tall.

Any sea doctor would say that it's just a dogfish, but to me it's clear that it's the devil's right hand come down to Earth to destroy mankind in the form of a fish.